A whole Cycle of a Transformationprocess.
Painting is one tool I am often! guided to use for bringing things into Life and on Earth. Into outer Manifestation. It’s one of the languages my soul is deeply home with.
When I woke up this morning I was directly guided to silently receive inner pictures.. and I went into meditation and a part of my current process was shown.. in feelings, pictures, inner knowing and energetical transmissions.. So afterwards I have now intuitively painted the whole process.. while I am painting I am re-entering the whole process and it’s like I am living it again.. as I don’t know what I will paint I start to dive into the Creationprocess with all of my being.. I feel, I see, I sense, I move.. all in painting.. ..until the whole process is competed.
I woke up knowing that a part of me wants to die. And that this old part is moving down. While painting this first feeling.. Sadness and a lot of Tears are running down my cheeks. I feel so much Love for that which I used to be with this old part. Yet I know I have to let got. I see and feel how it slowly breaks away from my body and Energy and how it is moving down into the Earth. I have a feeling in me like bringing myself to Earth. Burying me. Pain is in my heart and more and more tears are running through my eyes. There is such a care for this part that is leaving. I tell this part how much I love it and that I am so grateful that it was there for me. When I finally feel this part lying deep down in Earth . I sit down and just be with it. Becoming more and more silent. Letting waves of sadness , loss and pain run through me. Breathing me through. Taking care. Then I start to see and feel how I am standing on the Earth, the same place that I buried this old part of me. And how through the Earth, the soil and this old layer of me.. little sprouts start growing. Very tender and silent. How they are starting to slowly put their heads out of the Earth. A freshness enters my body and a lightness is in me. I can see how deeply beautiful this whole process is becoming. How something new is only growing through leaving the old. My body relaxes in the Process and the sadness of my heart becomes less.
Then I feel a new sequence entering. A new picture is starting to create itself. In painting I feel that a new page is needed. When I start moving my pens on this next page my inner body becomes much more alive. I can deeply feel how my Energy becomes stronger and my body is stretching into a new and bigger , more upward position.
Suddenly I feel how my heart feels bigger and lighter and I am standing up .. very present and clear. I can feel like a shining Energy is moving out through my body and radiates into the room.
The new painting is a very light and free body. Radiating light. With arms wide open. And fully present.
In me I can feel this Energy and while stopping painting I close my eyes and take deep breaths.. filing my body with this Energy. Deeper. And wider. A warmth is in me. And my whole System is deeply relaxed. I know now. That this process is happening. And after another deep breaths I feel that this Process for me is finished now. I feel it will take time to integrate. And in the evening I am doing a Ceremony, where I lit a candle and thank my Body. The old part. Life. And myself.
I look at those paintings. And my whole body knows. She knows every little stroke on paper. She feels every little stroke on paper deeply in every Cell until deep down in the bones. As every stroke is what has happened, what I have been moving through and with and as every little stroke… is a deep part of myself.
// this Process was in August 2018, when I have been in my old home town Hamburg, visiting old friends.. integrating that all the time and situations and all that was there.. is no longer part of me. that this no longer fits me and my body//
This way of moving and Transforming with Art is such a powerful and transformational healing Tool I am so grateful to have as gift!